When the Magic Runs Dry....Hide!!
by Davner
Summary: Sylphiel hasn't used any magic lately. You don't think....AW CRAP!!!


Slayers is the property of Kadokawa Shoten.   
  
I got this idea one night while writing another fic. I really wanted to see   
Sylphiel get mad enough to belt someone, but knew it probably wouldn't happen...   
Unless...  
By the way, this story takes place just after Slayers Next ends.  
  
  
  
  
When the Magic Runs Dry....Hide!  
  
By Davner  
  
  
Lina smacked her lips as the fish on the small, portable grill began to   
blacken. "Can't wait, can't wait, CAN'T WAIT!" she squealed in delight.  
  
"Yeah," Gourry drooled. He reached out to take one of the fish, but Lina   
slapped his hand.  
  
"Bad Gourry! Bad! They'll be done..." She reached her hands out....   
"NOW!" She quickly grabbed as many fish as she possibly could, Gourry doing the   
same.  
  
Leaning up against a nearby tree, Zelgadis sighed and reached into his   
pack for some of the travelbread he had brought with him from the last town.   
"Oi, Amelia. Have some. I doubt we'll be getting much fish."  
  
"Thank you, Mister Zelgadis!" Amelia cried, grabbing a piece and munching   
on it.  
  
Lina continued to eat fish after fish, but paused momentarily when she saw   
something out of the corner of her eye. Sylphiel was sitting alone on the edge   
of camp, looking down at the ground.   
  
The red-haired sorceress swallowed and decided to see what was wrong. She   
grabbed a few fish from Gourry's side of the grill and put them in a pan. Then   
she got up and walked over to the shrine maiden.  
  
"Hey, Sylphiel," she said smiling. "It's dinner time. Eat up!" She   
offered the pan to Sylphiel, who said nothing. "C'mon, Sylphiel! If you don't   
eat it, I will!"  
  
"I'm not hungry," Sylphiel told her curtly.  
  
Lina blinked. "But Sylphiel, you have to keep your stength up!" She   
took a bite of her own fish in emphasis.  
  
The shrine maiden looked up at her, scowling. Lina, in mid-chew, paused.   
"My strength, huh?" Sylphiel asked sarcastically. She rose to her feet. "My   
*strength*?!" Lina got up and began to back away.  
  
"Um...Shyphel?" Lina asked, her mouth full.  
  
"I'm supposed to believe that you give a flying fuck about my   
*strength*?!" Sylphiel demanded loudly. By now, everyone in the camp was   
staring at them in shock.   
  
"Shyl..." Lina began, but was cut off when Sylphiel actually reached out   
and gave her a shove. Lina blnked in shock.  
  
"I know what you're really doing!" Sylphiel hissed. "You want me to   
balloon up so you can take Gourry dear! Is that it?! HUH?!" She gave Lina   
another shove.  
  
Lina stumbled backward, her back striking a tree. A fish tail protruded   
from her mouth as she tried to mumble something.  
  
"ALWAYS WITH THE SMART ALECK REMARKS, AREN'T YOU?!"   
Sylphiel screamed, tears in her eyes.   
  
Lina actually sniffled, a tear in her eye. "Aum shrry," she mumbled.  
  
Sylphiel growled. "OOOOOOOOH!" She turned and walked into the forest   
alone.  
  
The others just watched, silent. Amelia finally broke this silence with,   
"Holy shit!"  
  
"What was that all about?" Zelgadis asked.  
  
Lina sniffled, then blinked. "Hey! Yeah! What *was* that all about?!"  
  
"Hey, Lina," Gourry asked. "Why did Sylphiel yell at you? Did you do   
something to her?"  
  
"NO! I was just offering her some fish! Then all of a sudden I'm trying   
to make her fat and steal you away!"  
  
"You want to steal me away?" Gourry asked.  
  
"NO, JELLYFISH BRAINS!!"  
  
"Well, that certainly wasn't the Sylphiel we know," Zelgadis remarked.  
  
"Maybe she was replaced with an evil copy while none of us were looking!"   
Amelia cried.  
  
Lina sighed. "No, there's a better explanation." They all looked to her.   
"Has anyone seen her use any magic in the last day?"  
  
They all shook their heads.  
  
"I was afraid of that," Lina sighed.  
  
A lightbulb went off in Gourry's head. "Oh, I get it! THAT TIME OF THE   
MONTH!!"  
  
  
  
"Maybe one of us should talk to her," Zelgadis suggested the next day as   
they were walking down the road. Sylphiel was walking/stalking out ahead of   
them. The rest were in a tight group behind her.  
  
"You wanna volunteer?" Lina asked sarcastically.   
  
"It's still Sylphiel," the chimera said. "She's just not feeling well."  
  
"Since when are you an expert?" Lina asked. "Trust me. The best thing   
we can do right now is stay the hell out of her way."  
  
"Miss Lina!? I thought you were Miss Sylphiel's friend!" Amelia cried.  
  
"I am! And I know that right now she doesn't want to talk to *anyone*!"  
  
"Well, it couldn't hurt to just let her know that we're here if she needs   
us," Zelgadis said. "Aren't you the one constantly going on about how we're a   
team and we should be there for one another?"  
  
"IT'S NOT THE SAME THING!" Lina cried. "Zel! I'm telling you! Don't do   
it! It's suicide!"  
  
Zelgadis ignored her and caught up with Sylphiel.  
  
"He's a dead man," Lina commented. Gourry nodded.  
  
"Sylphiel," Zelgadis called out, trotting up next to her.   
  
"Yes?" she asked.  
  
"I was just wondering how you were feeling. Are you all right?"  
  
"I'm fine, thank you," she said icily.  
  
"It just seems that you're…" he broke off.  
  
Sylphiel stopped in her tracks and turned to him. "That I'm what,   
exactly?"  
  
Zelgadis gulped. "Um... Sick?"  
  
Sylphiel's eyes narrows. "So now it's a sickness! You men are all   
alike!!"  
  
"Told ya," Lina muttered from not far away.  
  
"That's not what I meant!" Zelgadis said quickly.  
  
Sylphiel grabbed him by the throat. "IT'S A BEAUTIFUL AND NATURAL THING   
AND HOW DARE YOU BELITTLE IT WITH YOUR MALE CHEAUVINIST CRAP!?"  
  
Zelgadis started to sweat.  
  
Suddenly, she began to sniffle. The grip around his throat slackened.   
"Oh, Mister Zelgadis! I'm so sorry!" she cried.   
  
"Um..That's okay?" he said, unsure. He felt her latch onto him and bury   
her face in his tunic.  
  
"I get like this every once in awhile. "I'm so sorry I snapped at you!"   
  
"Er...no problem?"  
  
"You're so sweet!" she cried.  
  
"Um..Thanks," he said. He turned back to the others. Lina was urgently   
waving him off.  
  
"ABORT! ABORT!" she hissed.  
  
(Hmmm.) he thought. (See? This isn't so bad. She just needed someone to   
listen.) Spurred on by this thought, he wrapped an arm around her and hugged   
her.  
  
"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice razor-edged serious.  
  
"I...um...Thought you might like a hug."  
  
"Oh...I get it."  
  
Zelgadis turned his head and saw Lina and the others starting to run away.  
  
"Sylphiel's vulnerable right now!" the shrine maiden cried. "TIME TO   
MAKE YOUR MOVE, ISN'T YOU CHIMERA PERVERT!!!"  
  
"I..."  
  
*THWACK!*  
  
  
  
"Itaiiiii..." Zelgadis moaned as Amelia applied more ice to his eye.   
Despite the nature of his body, there was a circular bruise over his left eye in   
the exact same shape as the head of Sylphiel's scepter.  
  
"Well, we tried to warn you!" Lina cried.  
  
"How was I supposed to know she'd attack me?" the chimera asked   
painfully.  
  
"It's not your fault, Mister Zelgadis," Amelia said softly. "You were   
only trying to help. It was just a really, really stupid thing to do."  
  
"I've never seen her like this before," Lina murmured. She went to the   
window of their small room at the FireBall Inn and looked outside. "It's like   
she's a whole different person."  
  
"I wonder if we'll all survive," Zelgadis muttered.  
  
"Well, anyway, it's time to get some rest!" Lina announced. "See you all   
tomorrow!" The group began to split up and go to their rooms.   
  
Gourry scratched his head and opened his door to find Sylphiel standing   
there.  
  
He blinked. "Sylphiel?"  
  
"Gourry dear, do you think I'm pretty?" she asked quickly.  
  
(Uh..oh..) he thought. (I don't know why she's asking that, but I know   
it's bad.) Sylphiel stared at him, her warm eyes looking into his for   
salvation. (C'mon, doofus! Think!) he thought to himself. (Say something or   
she'll belt you!)  
  
"Yeah! You're beautiful!" he said finally and smiled.  
  
Sylphiel's eyes lit up, and she hugged him. "THANK YOU, GOURRY DEAR!!"  
  
(SCORE!) he thought. (No beatings tonight for Gourry! I really am a   
genius!)  
  
"Gourry Dear.."  
  
(Oh, crap, no.)  
  
"I...don't look fat to you, do I?"  
  
(....Think, doofus!)  
  
"Of course not!" Gourry cried, a sweatdrop appearing on the side of his   
head.  
  
Sylphiel blinked. "If you don't think so, why are you sweating?"   
  
(Oh, crap.)  
  
"It's just hot in here!" he said quickly. "Don't you think so!?"  
  
"Oh."  
  
(Whew!)  
  
"Gourry Dear..."  
  
(Sweet Cepheid, now what?!)  
  
"Who do you like better? Me or Lina?"  
  
(Quick, brain! What do I do?!)  
  
(Forget it!) his brain fired back. (You're on your own for this one!)  
  
Gourry thought hard. Sylphiel was staring at him intently.   
  
(What would Lina do?) he asked himself. (AHA!)  
  
Gourry took a step back and pointed at Sylphiel. "DRAGON SLAVE!!!"  
  
Crickets chirped.  
  
(D'OH!) his brain cried. (I leave the room for one minute and...Forget   
it! RUN! RUN, STUPID! RUN!)  
  
"Gourry Dear..." Sylphiel said, sniffling. "Do you really hate me that   
much?"  
  
Unfortunately, Gourry had already taken his brain's advice and was running   
pell mell down the hall..  
  
  
  
Amelia yawned, stretched, and drank the last of her warm milk. She looked   
from side to side, making sure that no one was near enough to her room to hear,   
and hopped onto the bed, posing theatrically.  
  
"And so," she cried, "As the sun sets on our heroes of justice, they once   
again sleep, sleep with the knowledge that they have fought for the innocent and   
will do so again with the rising of the sun!"  
  
With that, she plopped down into bed and pulled the covers over herself.   
She blew out the candle and closed her eyes.  
  
That's when the knock on the door came.  
  
She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Yes?"  
  
"Miss Amelia? It's me, Sylphiel..."  
  
Amelia thought for a hard moment... then...   
  
"Amelia no es aqui!"  
  
"Please, Miss Amelia. Don't joke. May I come in?"  
  
The young princess sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "Dear Cepheid,"   
she said in a solemn tone, like a prayer, "Please don't let her kill me. Amen."   
She hopped out of bed and went to the door, opening it.  
  
Sylphiel stood there in her purple night gown, a small teddy bear in her   
arms.   
  
"Miss Sylphiel, is something wrong?" Amelia asked.  
  
"Miss Amelia, can I sleep with you?" the shrine maiden asked.  
  
Amelia's eyes went wide. "Uh... Miss Sylphiel, I'm flattered and all...   
but I really don't swing that way..."  
  
"No, not like that," Sylphiel told her. It looked as if she were near   
tears. "Please? I just feel... so lonely and scared for some reason... I won't   
be any bother, I promise."  
  
The part of Amelia's mind that was in charge of making sure she didn't do   
anything stupid and/or dangerous was apparently out on a coffee break, which, of   
course, left the part of her mind in charge of fighting for justice in command   
of her brain, and justice demanded that Amelia show kindness and compassion to   
her friends, no matter what their mental condition.  
  
"Of course," Amelia told her. "Come in."  
  
"Oh, thank you, Miss Amelia!" Sylphiel cried, hugging her.   
  
Amelia reached around to hug her back, but remembered what had happened to   
Zelgadis and stopped herself. "Come inside."  
  
The princess climbed back into bed and was just a little surprised when   
she felt Sylphiel climb in after her. She turned and found the shrine maiden   
making herself comfortable.  
  
Sylphiel smiled and giggled. "It's just like the sleepovers I used to   
have with my friend in Sairaag when I was six. We used to stay up all night   
gossiping."  
  
Amelia smiled, more at ease. Sylphiel certainly didn't sound like the   
evil, post menstrual bitch she was earlier today. "Well, we have a long day   
tomorrow, so we should get some rest."  
  
Sylphiel nodded and closed her eyes. Amelia turned and did the same. She   
was just about to doze off when she heard Sylphiel mumble in her sleep.  
  
"Mmm... No... I won't let you take Gourry dear... red headed... bitch..."  
  
Amelia sweatdropped uncomfortably, but shook it off and went back to   
trying to sleep.  
  
"Get your... stinking paws off him..." Sylphiel muttered, thrashing   
around. "Damn, dirty sorceress..."  
  
Amelia sighed and tried to ignore it. Suddenly she felt an arm wrap   
around her throat and another around her waist. She gasped.  
  
"I'll kill you...Before I let you have him..." Sylphiel muttered,   
squeezing Amelia's throat. "You... hear me?" she asked groggily. "Kill you   
dead...Kill you, Lina..."  
  
"Oh my God," Amelia whimpered. "I'm going to die!" She imagined what   
the headlines would read like.  
  
"Princess of Seyruun Dies in Bed With Other Woman!"  
  
Amelia screamed!  
  
  
  
Gourry yawned and turned the corner the next morning to find Lina crouched   
next to Zelgadis' door. He sneaked up behind her and tapped her shoulder.  
  
"Oi, Lina," he asked. "What are you doing?"  
  
Lina turned back to him, a wicked grin on her face. "Just having some fun   
with Zel. I swear, he can be such a heavy sleeper." She turned back to the   
door and knocked. She raised her voice and spoke with a bad foreign accent.   
"Housekeeping! You want new pillow?"  
  
From inside the room, Gourry heard Zelgadis groan. "No...Go 'way...Trying   
to sleep..."  
  
Lina giggled and knocked again, repeating the same girlish voice.   
"Housekeeping! You want new blankie?"  
  
"I'm trying to *SLEEP*!" Zelgadis cried. "Go away!"  
  
Lina knocked again. "Housekeeping! You want me jerk you off?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"What kind of inn is this?!" they heard Zelgadis ask himself as he opened   
the door. He saw Lina and growled. Lina, meanwhile, was laughing her ass off.  
  
They turned and saw Amelia approaching at a fast walk.  
  
"Good morning, Amelia!" Lina said with a smile.  
  
"NOTHING HAPPENED!!" Amelia cried and ran down the hall.  
  
They all blinked after her.   
  
"We really have to stop giving her sugar," Gourry commented. The others   
nodded in agreement.  
  
"Good morning."  
  
Hearing that voice, Zelgadis flinched back and instinctively covered his   
face! "GAGH!"  
  
Sylphiel, already dressed and packed, blinked. "Is something wrong?"  
  
Lina took a step back, out of scepter range. "No, Sylphiel! Of course   
not!"  
  
Sylphiel noticed that the bruise on Zelgadis' face still hadn't completely   
healed. "Oh, Mister Zelgadis, let me help you with that!"  
  
Zelgadis whimpered, but all Sylphiel did was touch the bruise with her   
finger.  
  
"RECOVERY!"  
  
A second later, the bruise was healed. He looked to Lina and Gourry, who   
looked back at him.  
  
As one, they all cried out.  
  
"YAY!!!!"  
  
"Um...Did I miss something?" Sylphiel asked politely.  
  
"No! Not a thing!" Lina said quickly. "Why don't you go downstairs and   
have breakfast? We'll be down in a second!"  
  
"Oh, all right, Miss Lina." With that, Sylphiel walked to the stairs.  
  
Once she was out of earshot, they all sighed in relief.  
  
"It's over!" Zelgadis said thankfully.  
  
"Yeah," Lina said in relief. "Well, it's time for breakfast, and I am   
*STARVING*! See you downstairs!" She bounded off for breakfast.  
  
"Me too!" Gourry cried, starting for the stairs. Before he could leave,   
Zelgadis had a hold of his elbow.   
  
"Just a moment, Gourry." Gourry turned to him and blinked. "Something   
has always bothered me, and I think I just now figured it out."  
  
"What, Zelgadis?"  
  
"She's a beautiful, kind, gentle, powerful woman who can cook and normally   
has a very pleasing personality. She's also made it very obvious that she's in   
love with you, and you've never seemed to notice." Zelgadis went toe to toe   
with him. "You're not *that* stupid, Gourry."  
  
Gourry looked from one end of the hall to the other before leaning down   
and whispering. "Of course not! But do you think I want to deal with what   
we've been going through the last couple of days *every month*?!"  
  
Zelgadis blinked. "You're a wise man, Gourry Gabriev. Let's go eat."  
  
"Yatta!"  
  
Together, the two Slayers men started for the stairs.  



End file.
